dAtIndOnEsiAnMaMi

I truly dedicate this blog to all the ppl who dissapointed me, esp. the ones who still havent gotten any fuckin idea what FEELINGS are, and what they mean to me. obviously you bitches have no fuckin clue, let me explain something to you, i dont hold grudges, but that dont mean ill forget.

NO THINK AGAIN, i gave you chances to get closer to me, in a friendly way, you dumb asses took advances, and blew it. thats someshit you can never take back. its all good. like i stated, ITS UR LOST. NOT MINE. I feel bad that YOU CANT EVEN STAY TRUE TO URSELF. THEN, OBVIOUSLY YOU CANT STAY TRUE TO ANYBODY ELSE. oh well, thats just TOO BAD.

Im fuckin 19 years old, i have my whole life ahead of me, i do shit i do cuz i have my own reason, dont expect me to gv yaal bitch asses another shot. there wont be. u really think im missing out? NO.

How many bitches u see outhere, my age and use feelings properly? Not many, you shouldve felt priviledge, but instead, u turned around and blew it. its a damn shame, but guess what? i make my mistakes and i learn from it.

And from this experience, i learned NOT to fuckn trust NO ONE cuz those one who got closed are the ones who fcked up the most. its all good thou’ i felt sometype of way, but i realized i shouldnt. u’ll see. when i get to the board and make it big time, just remember, SHE WAS THE ONE WHO GAVE YOU THE SHOT, AND THE ONE WHO PROMISED TO LOVE TILL THE END, I know its hard to pick which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn, but since you have chosen to burn this one,  then its all on you, because before you decide to grab the lighter, ive tried to warn you,

ALSO REMEMBER:

"every action in this world will bear a consequence" ,PEACE.

At the moment, im at the point in my life where i dont know where to turn to, whos head to believe or to trust anymore.

EVERYTHING i thought would do good turned out to be fckn disaster, what more can i say? im screwed.

USED to believe in d sayin: "no matter where your life takes you FAMILY comes first" it sure dont feel or sound like it. Basicly what was said really got to me, wow. a waste though??? i gave up my whole life at 16 thought it would be a fairytale. BIG TIME B.S!

ONLY GOD knows how it really feels.

i know LIFE’S A BITCH and i always said i’d be the BIGGER bitch, guess the joke was on me.

IT AINT WORTH KILLIN A HOME OVER EGO. 

SUNDAY JUNE 3RD, AT 11.30

DAMN, IM EXHAUSTED!! JST WOKE UP NOT TOO LONG AGO, AND FINALLY REALIZED THAT NIGGAZ AINT SHIT. I HAD A LONG ASS NITE. I NEEDED THAT SHIT, HAD MY GIRLS NITE OUT..IT WAS A CRAZY ONE TOO.. THANKS MITA YOU GOT ME SAFE BACK HOME. I HARDLY REMEMBER WHAT HAPPEN BESIDES THE FUN WE HAD. HOHOHO.. ‘EM SHOTS PLUS GG’S GOT ME ON MY ASS.. HAHA LEAST I WAS ABLE TO DANCED MY ASS OFF AND LET LOOSE. OH IT FELT SO DAMN GOOD.

AND BY THE WAY JUST WANNA SCREAM AND SAY:
"FUCK YAAL NIGGAZ, NONE OF YAAL WORTH A DYME. GOT ME SAD CRYIN AND FUCKIN THOUGHT THAT MY WORLD ENDED. FUCK NO, THIS IS JUST A BEGINNIN AND IMMA LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST SO YOU CAN KISS MY ASS BITCH!!!!!!!!!! YEA, I JUST GOT OUT MY LA LA LAND AND FOUND OUT THAT REALITY IS THE SHIT. SO, DONT REGRET IT, CUZ THIS BITCH FINALLY CHOSE TO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS!!!!!!!

WHAT IT DO BYTCHES?? I HAVENT TOOK MY TIME TO WRITE THIS JOINT IVE BEEN REALLY BUSY, WORKIN FULL TIME, COME HOME TO MY FAMILY, SEEMS LIKE MY LIFE IS FLYING. WHERE’D TIME GO??

WHATS BEEN GOIN DOWN:

HMM..WHERE DO I BEGIN? KEEP TRYIN TO TELL MY SELF NOT TO STRESS OUT OVER BILLS. DAMN IT! KINDA WISH I WAS A KID AGAIN, OR MAYBE THESE ARE JST PART OF ME GROWING UP. MY KID JAY IS GETTIN REAL BIG, THIS YOUNG BOUL TALKES ABOUT EVERY GODDAMN THING, AND FUNNY PART, WHEN HE SEES ME CRY, HE TELLS ME TO STOP AND HE SAID "EY MA, ITS OK. PLEASE STOP, DAMN THAT RITE THERE JUST TOUCHED MY HEART, HE’S MY #1 BEST FRIEND. HE’S ONE THING I LIVE FOR. FOR REAL.

11:14 PM: WAITING ON THIS DAMN LAUNDRY TO BE DONE. DAMN IT WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG???? I GOTTA GO TO SLEEP, MY BODY IS TIRED BUT BRAIN IS KEEPIN ME UP. I GOT SO MUCH SHIT ON MY MIND IT FEELS LIKE ITS ABOUT TO BLOW UP.

KING P IS BEIN SUPER SWEET AND NICE TOWARD ME, BUT DONT KNOW WHY, SOMTHING INSIDE JUST WONT LET GIVE IT ALL..

GOTTA GO, JAYDEN IS CALLING ME….

Ok, what time is it? 9:00 pm, just put jay jay to sleep oh im exhausted.

ive been doin some " running around." as always, dunno why i feel so lazy, i didnt go to work today, finally weekdays with no work. unbelievable. didnt get to relax or nuttin. my days wnt so fast, didnt tak a nap at all.. all day..huh, wtf??? im so tiredd…

I cant believe tht i didnt go newhere.. i was supposed to go to char2’s party, but i missed it, i didnt have a babysitter. well, what can u say?? its hard. i guess id b worth it if i stay home. so i did. here i am bored as shit talken on my damn comp. haha. smoken and jus listenin 2 music…

…nothing in this world can stop us tonite.. i can do wht she can do so much better.. baby, you and i , WE GOT WHAT WILL NEVER BE
you know im right
So tell me what you’re waiting for when you’re here with me?
Most guys would die…

Hey lil sis.. go ahead and partayyy its ya bday. hope u liked them present i gotcha!!

Whats poppin? tired as hell. its time to puasa nii.. so excited..

Dear Everyone: Selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa ya, kalo ada salah2 maafin ya.

Wish i was di jakarta, kangen lebaran sama semua.

well i guess imma holla at cha later! peace, -me

got home frm work not too long ago. tired as hell. had a long day today. im jst bored. smoken.

*let me pack my ciggs* aw shit i fuckd it up. ughhhh..

i got this man on the phone today he cursed me the fuck out. damn fuckin debtor. pay ur fucken bills if you dont want to get them annoyin ph calls.. haha  couldnt wait to get the fuck outta there to see my 2 babies juan and jayden. they’re my angels. i hate the fact that i have to work. it sucks!!!!! i miss my jayjay so much, he was so happy 2 see me..awwwhh i love him with all my heart…

*juan called*

gotta go.. -Ms. Mimi

WHATS GOOD YAAL? HAVENT WROTE SHIT IN A WHILE. IVE BEEN BUSY. THOUGHT I HAD FEW MINUTES TO UPDATE. BUT ANYWAYS,

ME AND THA FAMILIA ARE DOING GOOD. IVE BEEN DOIN SHOOTS LATELY. NOTHING MUCH RELLY. I HAVE TWO JOBS INTERVIEW COMING UP TOMOROW AND TUESDAY. SO WISH ME LUCK.

I DIDNT DO NUFFIN TODAY, JUST SIT ON MY LAZY ASS ALL DAY, HAHAHA  SIKE! THATS NOT TRUE. MY GIRL TARA CAME OVER WITH THE FIANCEE, AND I JUST CLEANED THE HOUSE. THATS ABOUT IT.

I MISS ORANG YG NGANTERIN GW KE MARRIOT!!!!! KANGEN BGT SAMA LO DE’…

XOXO-TAMMY

WADDUP YAAL? havent wrote shit in a while..im busy wif da babi..he’s feelin better now..im jus glad..aniwaiiis,im bored n shit fucken 7 10 in da mornin and im typin diz shit..fuccc,i couldnt go back to sleep fo sum reason..dunno y. i wish i could. hiks.

todai..i prolly go to gym lata on..and im gon go shoppin. me and juan were suppossed 2 go yesterday,but it was too late,so..we didnt go..i wanna go to willow grove mall,but i dont kno if juan would want too..ez kinda far. sux cuz i need to get sumthink from mac and there aint mac stores around here,well hope juanz takin me there,cuz i need to go to smashbox too. huh what da fuk?

o well..imma smoke a ciggarettes first then imma try to go back to sleep..check ya lata..

"NOW U’VE BEEN HOLDIN ME DOWN. FO SUCH A LONG TIME NOW,FROM BACK DEN TO NOW IN MY STORY. STRAIGHT FROM DA HOOD,UVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FO ME. AND U HAD MA BACK,BACK WHEN EVERYBODY SAID I WASNT ANYTHIN,IT WAS U WHO HAD ME HOLDIN ON..NO MATTA WHATS GOIN ON..SO WATEVA U NEED " I GOT U " ..U DONT KNO HOW MUCH U MEAN TO ME. WHENEVER U DOWN U KNO DAT U CAN LEAN ON ME..NO MATTA DA SITUATION IM GON HOLD U DOWN." *DEDICATED TO PEOPLE WHO CARES ABOUT ME A LOT..SUCH AS NAY,VICCO,HANNA,SISSY,MARC N MARGIE. (THESE PEOPLE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FO ME. THEY MADE ME "HANG" IN THERE. THANKS YAAL. U ALL MEAN "A LOT" TO ME. LUV & KISSES.) -JAYDEN’S MOM

’sup yaal? im jus chillen,bored as fuc..ez fucken windy outside dont feel like goin no where..sux..oohhh…i miss mi papi..he at work n shit,dunno what time he’ll come back. mi babi is downstairs wif his grandma..and im jus stuck upstairs tryna figure out wat to do..shiiiiet…

i feel like sparkin dat shyt but i dont think mi papi would wanna do dat,he gon be all tired and shit den he gon wanna go to sleep!! fuckkk…o man wut da fuc? hmm..i prolly gon go to gym lata on..still need to lose lost of pounds..i wanna b like be4…105 lbs! well,still a lot..but anyway,im so full..i just ate chick stromboli from gee’s ohh…yummy..dat shit was good. i wasnt suppossed 2 eat it thou…ez gon make me fat..hahhaha..

aite den. imma check on d baby,tata fo now